Nervous about Q&As? 7 Essential Tips to Answer Confidently

Tricks that helped me elevate my verbal response skills.

Do you get nervous or ramble when asked questions in high-pressure situations? Do you often think of better responses after the moment has passed?

I had this problem. I would rush to respond without clarification. I would even miss underlying concerns and not understand why that question was asked. I wasn't someone who could think quickly on their feet, and I was scared of sounding silly.

It took me a while to realize this was normal! I didn’t feel this pressure in regular meetings or with people I was comfortable with. It happened in one-off settings like a high stake presentation, leadership meetings, incident (SEV) reviews, etc.

I wish someone had given me these 7 tips early in my career. It would have accelerated my ability to answer questions like a leader. Here they are for you:

😌 1. Fix your attitude

Firstly, it's okay if you don't know everything or get nervous. Find why you get nervous:

For me, it was the fear of not knowing. So, I used to tell myself - I don't need to know everything, and I can always follow up later. It's not the end of the world.

Secondly, be approachable when answering questions. Your body language should invite questions, not dismiss them.

I like to smile and look straight into the eye/camera (if remote).

🤫 2. Silence is your friend

Use silence to structure your response. If you are uncomfortable with silence, then you can inject the following to buy time:

• “Ah that is a good question, let me think”

• “the answer is a bit nuanced, give me a moment to gather my thoughts“

• “oh yea, I haven’t thought about it before, …”

After a brief silence, I would feel pressure and start thinking, "Why am I not speaking?" This would distract me. Using filler sentences helped me relax.

🤔 3. Don’t answer vague questions

You run the risk of answering the wrong question when it isn't clear to you. This leaves the room confused and derails discussions.

In my mind, I always confirm if I actually understood the question. When in doubt, I paraphrase the question to confirm if that is what they intended.

Follow-up questions are a great way to gain clarity. The best part about this is that you get time to think! Also, if the person asking the question isn't clear, others can help clarify it you ask.

📅 4. Take it offline

Some questions are intricate, or the answer is quite nuanced. I provide a 1-line answer but immediately add - "there are many nuances to this that we should dive into," "let's discuss it later today."

Note, provide a satisfactory 1-liner that justifies why you should follow up, otherwise you may come across as dismissive.

I recall, after an org-wide presentation, I received a loaded question: "Did you consider doing XYZ?" XYZ was far too ambitious and complex. I replied with a "No. It is not in scope now." Instead, I should have followed up with, "We evaluated XYZ and found it to be too complex. I would love to chat offline and hear if you have any ideas." Maybe they had ideas to simplify.

🔁 5. Reframe the question

Some people ask provoking or blunt questions to which a yes / no answer can invite trouble. You need to know how to reframe the question. (Note, this is not deflecting the question or lying).

E.g., You get "Don't you have disaster testing for that scenario?" in your org-level incident review discussion. The binary answer to it may be "No". However, saying just that can invite a lot more attention than justified.

You may want to say:

• “The answer is more nuanced here - we have disaster testing for scenario X, Y and Z.”

• “In this case, we hit scenario X + a rare race condition + <some other situation> “

• “And, we didn’t have disaster testing for this combination as it was hard to anticipate.”

• “We have a follow up now to do <something that is feasible to do>.”

As a tech lead, I have stepped in to answer such questions when junior engineers provide incomplete answers during incident reviews or other stressful situations.

🛡️ 6. Handling a Complaint

"Why doesn't your API work ever?" or "You always breach your SLA, what are you doing about it?" or other such complaints that masquerade as questions. These are challenging as they make you more nervous.

It's natural to become defensive or go quiet, but both reactions are bad. The trick to handling these is silence + follow-up questions. Don't get bullied into a meaningless debate. Instead, focus on how it impacts them, why they care, and the next steps. This approach helps you convert complaints into questions or requests.

Adopting a thinking pose and other non verbal signals helped me. It clearly showed the person that I was thinking about what they said or that I needed more convincing. Next, I would ask questions until they could quantify their complaints.

🎯 7. Share the core message first

In most cases, you should share the core message first. It helps orient the answer. A common mistake: Engineers dive deep into justifications, leaving the audience confused.

For example, if you are asked the question "Will you support scenario X?" you should say yes or no within your first two sentences, ideally the first word.

Parting Note 💌📌

While I regret that I learned these tricks at different stages in my career, I am excited to share them all with you at once. I have seen them work for many mentees whom I've coached, but it requires intentional practice. Let me know how it goes.

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