How to Stay Calm Under Pressure?
The framework that helped me keep calm in high-pressure situations.
Have you ever had someone with authority ask you a hard question, and you felt scared? What did you do after that?
Blabber defensive words? Or make a decision prematurely?
Did you feel like running away from the situation? This is more common than you think. When I feel scared in such situations, I use the BAA framework, which has helped me not succumb to the pressure over the years.
Let’s look at three situations to understand the framework. By the way, they are all situations where I messed up the first time I encountered them. I didn’t follow BAA, i.e., Breath, Assess, and Act. Instead, I followed Act, Assess, and Regret :)
Enterprise Ready Conference for B2B Leaders (Sponsor)
The Enterprise Ready Conference is a free, one-day event in SF for product and engineering leaders building enterprise SaaS.
The event features speakers from OpenAI, Vanta, Checkr, Dropbox, and Canva on key topics like advanced identity management, compliance, encryption, logging, and fine-grained authorization—critical features that many enterprises require.
😳 1. A Grilling Leadership Review
Picture this: You're presenting to leadership, feeling confident. Suddenly, a VP interrogates you with an unexpected question:
“Why aren’t you building Feature X? Why are you focused on Feature Y?”.
A long time back, everyone had agreed that Feature X wasn’t necessary. So, this question stumps you. Gulp. 😳
It's natural to feel your heart racing and palms sweating. You weren’t ready for this from someone with authority.
You feel fear because
You don’t want to give a ‘less than ideal’ answer to your VP
You wonder if you missed a memo about Feature X
You fear saying “NO” to your VP.
What you shouldn’t do
Start blabbering and giving non-answers.
Make promises (without thinking over) that you will work on Feature X.
What you should do
Breath
Take a deep breath and let the feeling pass. For a moment, forget it’s a person with a big title!
Assess
Ask yourself -
Do you understand the question and the intent?
Is there a baked-in assumption in the question that does not align with yours?
For example, you assume Feature X is not prioritized, but your VP may have a different assumption.
Do you hesitate to give a direct response? If so, ask why.
Do you assume the answer may make them unhappy?
Act
Don’t let their tone scare you or let your hesitation overpower your response.
In this case, you want to start with a clear answer and share your justification. The justification may be as simple as, “Feature X was deemed unnecessary in the previous review, and Feature Y adds the most value based on the user study”.
You should add, “Do you believe we should consider Feature X again?” This way, you can let them chime in if they have new data points.
The more you practice, the more comfortable you get. VPs appreciate that!
😱 2. Crazy Outage
Your phone's buzzing like crazy. There's a major outage, and your team can't find the root cause. 😱
A bunch of super senior engineers and managers are waiting for you to fix it! These high expectations in an unknown situation can scare you into - trying random fixes and potentially making things worse.
You feel the fear because you think:
You are the team lead, so you are “supposed” to have the answers!
If you don’t fix the problem, those super-senior engineers may think you know nothing. So, everyone will know you are an imposter!
Acting rashly will surely hamper your reputation. So, take a moment.
What you should do
Breath
Take a deep breath and spend a minute understanding the symptoms. Let people know you need a minute to gather context. If someone is being pushy, let them know you will respond soon.
Assess
Make a mental note of things you understand vs not. Specifically,
Do you understand the symptoms and the impact?
Do you understand the trigger?
Do you understand potential issues that have been ruled out or the potential theories?
Act
This may be a complex outage with an unclear root cause. Clearly communicate what you know vs. what you don't. Share the potential theories you and your team will validate. If you need help from a specific team, then ask for it. Engineers from other teams want to help, but you must ask for it.
Share regular updates so that they are not left guessing.
🧐 3. Unexpected Critical Feedback
You’ve just wrapped up a project, and expect praise for your leadership. Instead, you hear, "You didn’t communicate well during the project." Suddenly, your confidence takes a hit. 😳
You feel fear because
You thought you did well, and now doubt creeps in.
You’re worried this might impact your promotion.
What you should not do
Reject the feedback right away
Accept it without understanding the specifics
What you should do
Breath
Listening to critical feedback is never easy, especially when it comes as a surprise. So, take a moment.
Assess
Ask yourself -
Do you know if the feedback is true?
Do you understand the specific instance that this feedback refers to?
Do you feel uncomfortable talking about this now? If so, why?
Is the worry about your promotion scaring you?
Act
Respond with something like, “Oh! This is a surprise, but I want to understand the specifics.” This signals to the feedback giver that you are listening and relaxes them.
Discussing the feedback is the only way to get more details, but do it respectfully. If you need time to reflect on the details, do so before disagreeing.
When we are scared, we forget to think before acting. That results in rash decisions. Practicing BAA will help you deal with high-pressure situations. That will make you a better leader.
If you enjoyed this article, then hit the ❤️ button. It helps!
If you think someone else will benefit from this, then make sure to 🔁 share this post.
Well written. What I like about this article is the fact that the specific examples are relatable. Respond and don't react is something we've seen a lot of times over but always either without any real examples or some sport related story. Ravi took out the time to relate it to the daily life of an engineer. Thanks
Great tips and relatable situations, Raviraj 🙏 thanks as well for the article shout-out