11 Comments

Did you ever give a feedback and realized you did it way too early ?

Sometimes I think "hesitating" can be benefitial (in order to get better examples or more data on the situation) if we're discussing a pattern and not a singular event.

It's something I learned from "Crucial Conversations" and it's a great way to be sure to have enough context to be able to give correct feedback, but not waiting too long collecting feedback and getting the usual "oh if it was that important for you, why didn't you voice it before" ?

It also depends ofc on the relationship, the dynamic and the situation.

Thanks anyway for the article, great read!

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Jan 19Liked by Raviraj Achar

When I make suggestions or question some piece of code I don't understand, why it has to be there, or what purpose it solves, I always lead with: "I might lack some context here, but what XY is doing here.", because that's the truth.

It happened way too many times that it was a leftover from a previous solution or something that, after a second look, is not really needed; it can be anything.

The price I pay for coming through as someone who "doesn't get a solution" is small compared to having some code around we'll have to maintain for years.

It's great to see how hesitation and BSing around hold us back from making a good impact.

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Jan 19·edited Jan 19Liked by Raviraj Achar

I’ve been in most of those cases :)

As a manager, I still struggle with it. I understand the importance, and I prepare myself well for those conversations - but when the time comes, somehow the words that I say are just… meh. Too soft, with too many caveats I didn’t want to say, just so I’ll finish on a good note.

Since reading ‘Radical Candor’ my awareness of that tendency (ruinous empathy) increased, and I think that I do get better at it with time.

My biggest tip for beginners is to ASK for that feedback, requesting your manager to not spare you. I have 2 such engineers, and with them I just love those conversations.

And lastly - Adam Grant recently wrote a great article on why you shouldn’t use the compliment sandwich: https://adamgrant.substack.com/p/stop-serving-the-compliment-sandwich

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Being explicit and direct when giving feedback is a great skill.

Especially when they are backed up with kindness and considerate words.

I like the part where you emphasised on understanding other's perspective. This is crucial too, because it makes you rethink your initial intuition and give more accurate feedback.

Nicely written, Raviraj!

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One thing I have noticed is the lack of confidence and comfort while giving feedback, this mainly is on the Engineering culture of the team or company.

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A1 advice for corporate cogs intending to damage interpersonal relations with their work colleagues in exchange for negligibly increasing their CEO's stock value

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Great post. I know I am also hesitant to give feedback especially to people that have zero experience. Will bookmark this post for the future !

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